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Hi all,
I would like to read some posts that will help me more deeply see and empathize my husband's experience now, a year plus into this process. Are there particular threads on the BS side you have found helpful?
Thank you.

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There are a few things I can point out that may help you navigate to those situations. There is a thread in the I can relate forum for spouses who found out years later. They make out at 50’pages but if you scroll down you will find there are more of those, they are just older and had filled out.

Personally, I read a lot in the just found out forum and in general and reconciliation and found cases similar to my own there.

I feel the main thing that helped me have empathy was working on my shame. It allowed me to put myself in his shoes.

I can see a little of what you are dealing with - and I can see how you would be sometimes go straight to frustration. My mom used to collect evidence and then use it for interrogation purposes and it was very difficult to communicate what truly happened because I would be needled on these fine details she didn’t feel added up with what I was telling her. I am not at all saying he doesn’t have the right to the full truth, but I can see how this sometimes plays out and interferes with your ability to get in the softer places where empathy exists. I’m hopeful your counselor will be able to help you all sort this out. Best wishes to you.

Hi there PleaseBeFixable,

Something that helped me a lot was reading the Betrayed Men thread in the I Can Relate forum. My BS joined SI but never much read or posted here so that thread was a way of trying to gain some insight to the specific nature of being male and betrayed. I wouldn't put too much weight on the timeline of healing at this point, meaning that yes you're a year out from D-day but that doesn't mean his experience will, or should, track with someone else's who is that far out. Just know that healing/reconciliation is a long and non-linear process. I very much estimated the timeline. I would say for us it was 6-8 years.

Proceed with conviction and valor.

Best to you from this still EvolvingSoul.