SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have been journaling for almost 3 years post Dday. It has helped me tremendously to get things out of my head at times. My journaling is all over the place as far as an affair timeline is concerned. Things will pop into my head and I will race to the journal to release them. Some are repetitive but just re worded for that moment. At times I have amazed myself at how much has flowed out of me at any given entry into my journal. Lots of anger, reflection and resentment. This is my latest entry into my journal:

"An affair is a door slammed in your face, a kick in the nuts and a punch in the stomach that knocks all of the air out of you. It’s all your nightmares come true as you have awoken to a new reality. Everything you once believed in has changed forever. All of this because of one person’s bad choice in life and then continuing to dwell on their selfish needs at the expense of others. They created a world for themselves where there were no responsibilities or worries, just self-indulgent time for their needs and desires. A separate relationship built on the quicksand of secrecy and lies. This relationship was destined to fail at some point once the secrecy was broken".

Lost1313

I too have done a lot of journalling. Especially during the days and weeks after DDAY. I remember my first journal entry took up about full pages front and back. When I was done, I was so emotional about it, I felt I needed to share it.

Since my only friend in the world is my WW, I asked if she wanted to read it thinking it might help her understand where I was and what I needed to feel comforted. She reluctantly read it, but it seemed to have very little impact on her. In fact, it made me think that she couldn't care less about it. And I shredded the journal in disappointment and sadness.

Since then, I've basically started to use these forums as my journal. I really appreciate it when people read and give me their opinions, even if I don't agree with them, it's still very helpful to get acknowledgement and support.

Good luck on your journaling, Lost1313. I hope it brings you comfort.

4characters,

Not sure of where you're at timeline wise but my wife was still deep in the affair bubble and dealing with the shock of being caught for many months after Dday. It wasn't until the 'Affair Fog' started to wear off did she start feeling empathy again. Every affair is unique to the couples involved but share a lot of common elements. I also use this forum to vent and get advice and most of all to realize that I am not alone in this. This subject will generate some heartbreaking posts as well as many redeeming one's. My experience was with a LTA which makes it even harder to deal with. I pray that you will weather this storm!

Lost1313

Just a note on SI threads, posts, and journaling -

They disappear, but SI has a journal feature. You can get to it by clicking on your profile icon (the one that looks like a person in one of your posts) and by other methods. You can keep it private or make it public. Entries in the journal do not disappear.

Check it out if you think it may be useful to you.

sisoon ,

Thank You for the info. Much appreciated!