SacredSoul33 (original poster member #83038) posted at 10:29 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2024
When you click on the Members tab, at the bottom of the page there's a list of members who have been online in the last five minutes. Some of the names weren't familiar, so I clicked on their name and looked at their profiles. A couple of them had 2023 start dates, but zero posts. Some had old start dates and low post totals with nothing new enough to appear under "recent posts".
I know some people stop posting on the forums and only use the PM feature to connect with friends whom they've met here, but what about the ones with a zero or super low post count? Why log in? Are they using SI as a private messaging system? Maybe for the journal? I'm so curious!
[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 10:29 PM, Tuesday, September 10th]
Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 11:06 PM on Tuesday, September 10th, 2024
I would think it’s people that don’t want to put themselves out there but are dealing with infidelity. I lurked for 3 months reading everything before I registered, and then didn’t post for weeks. The minute I made my first post I so afraid my friends or family would find out. I was also too emotional to be mis treated by a faction of BTW crowd that was prevalent back in the day. This is definitely a kinder gentler SI.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
TheEnd ( member #72213) posted at 1:16 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2024
I lurked for 2.5 years before I posted. Pretty sure I win some kind of medal or something. 
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:45 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2024
I lurked for 2.5 years before I posted. Pretty sure I win some kind of medal or something. laugh
Wow we joined at the same time. That first post was frightening.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:51 AM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2024
Maybe the pain is so incredibly overwhelming or other posts see so triggering that they don't post right away.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:57 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2024
I think you have to post 50 times before you can PM another member.
If you're signed in, I think there are features - like being able to look at someone's profile - that are unavailable to people who aren't signed in.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
SkipThumelue ( member #82934) posted at 6:03 PM on Wednesday, September 11th, 2024
I lurked for almost 2 years before I finally got the courage to register and post, at my therapist's suggestion. Just here to try to help other WS's.
WH
DD: 5/2019
Reconciling and extremely grateful.
I do not accept PMs.
"The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself." - St. Augustine
