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Newest Member: FabMom

Reconciliation :
I told my EA cheating wife that "stop telling you didn't have sex with him instead say that I didn't get any proof of it "

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Shivsuroor (original poster new member #84833) posted at 6:38 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2024

I found about how I found my wife emotionally cheating with a junior colleague by sending/receiving not decent ( not sexual ) chats in WhatsApp and insta.

I confronted my wife with those whatsapp chats. It led to a huge fight where she was telling the following things to defend me and that colleague.-

She initially tried to defend but then agreed that she was wrong and she will end the chat . So I initially waited for her to update but she said they were coming at different days to office so she could not meet him.

But one thing she kept telling is that she never had romantic feeling over him and she never had sex with him .

I finally got tired and asked her to call in front of me to bring closure.

Wife : hey guy, I want to talk to you. My husband saw those chats you had made and he is not happy with it. So I don't want you to chat again with me

Guy : hey look, I only chatted as a friend ( please check the link i sent and let me know it's friend level)

Wife : look, i don't want to create a scene with our friends so let's pretend to be normal before then but don't talk to me in private or message me

Guy : hey I'm sorry for that . I didn't think this will happen

I got pissed at this moment and said you never talked about boundaries after muting phone

Wife : hey , I think you had crossed few boundaries and it's my mistake also that I allowed to cross.

Guy : hey I'm really sorry , I did everything in a friendly way

Wife : ok bye

Guy : bye

She called and said to him to stop chatting as her husband saw the chats and he said I'm sorry I only talked like a friend etc.

I got pissed and we had another fight . This time she was angry why I'm pissed even though she ended it . I said she didn't end with telling him what he did instead made me look like a suspicious husband.

I said she would rather be polite with a guy who almost ended her marriage and can even end even now. But she said again

" Look i didn't have sex with him"

Don't make it look like an ievement, you are just months or weeks away from that .

I said " tell that your husband didn't get any evidence of you indulging in physical affair "

And brought up a trip .

Context: Around 8 months ago , she asked if she can go to a colleague wedding in another city and I agreed. But apparently she wasn't happy with the way I nodded.

I called the day she reached and she said she is in a resort. I got pissed, she has gone with 3 male and one female colleague to resort a day before marriage and did rafting , sailing etc.

When she came back and I asked her why she didn't tell, she said i never asked about it so she never told and her mom and sisters know about it .

This caused a huge fight over permission but I never suspected her of cheating but rather not asking me before she went .

I said I don't have evidence of what you did at that resort and it's human nature to protect their friends so I won't even ask them ass they will cover for you .

I know there is a high chance she didn't but I wanted to hurt her for the hurt she caused.

Was i over the line and behaved like this?

posts: 11   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2024   ·   location: India
id 8836363
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 7:02 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2024

Ok,my bullshit meter is pinging. That conversation with the other man, was fake. You can tell in his responses. They discussed it,at work, and he knew what she was going to say,and they discussed how he was to respond.

She works with him. So, she needs a new job. Immediately.

Is he married? A girlfriend? You need to call her and tell her about the affair. She deserves to know. Don't tell your wife. She will warn him,and by the time you talk to the OBS, she won't hear you out,because she will have been told you are abusive,crazy, etc.

It also sounds like the affair is ongoing.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6812   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8836367
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 Shivsuroor (original poster new member #84833) posted at 8:07 PM on Monday, May 13th, 2024

He is a young guy who thought married woman are easy game and my wife proved it .

However i didn't at that time think anything wrong about her but after her EA got into public.. I keep pondering if it went physical and this is the best time they got

Of course another issue was there was another married woman in that group.

Also his chats with my wife were very formal before and sometime after the trip .

So can't say if they did if

posts: 11   ·   registered: May. 8th, 2024   ·   location: India
id 8836372
Topic is Sleeping.
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