Thirteen+ years after d-day.
Similar here, I may go months without any concern or questions in my mind, then something is said, or not said, done, or not done, and I question whether I have asked enough questions or gotten enough answers.
I don't usually bring it up, my FWS can't handle this history of ours very well, due to mental health issues, and she NEVER brings it up.
But, it arises. Recently we were talking about something from the affair time, about building on to our prior home, which I had opposed but she had been pushing, I thought we should move. I finally caved to her wishes, things are very difficult at home, she's really not treating me well.
So, we spent thousands of dollars on drawings, then suddenly she got cold feet, doesn't want to do it, wants to sell the house and move. I'm frustrated, it has been a very difficult time, and I've just agreed to everything trying to keep peace, only to get the entire thing whiplashed after wasting a bunch of money. Her change of heart and abrupt shift didn't make sense.
She disputed my memory of this seemingly unrelated issue (but it was not unrelated), I pointed out that she was incorrect. She questioned me as to why I could be so certain in retrospect.
I pointed out that she was having her affair when these decisions were made. She had her AP over to our house and had had sex with him there in two locations, our bedroom being one, then broke off the affair and that is when she changed her mind and wanted to sell the house. She wanted to run away from the scene. How do I know? We still have the dated drawings...
Then, 5 weeks ago, she forgets our anniversary.
Yeah, it raises questions!