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Wayward Coworker

Topic is Sleeping.
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 ibonnie (original poster member #62673) posted at 2:17 AM on Thursday, February 22nd, 2024

I will keep the details at a minimim because this is an evolving situation, but the short version is a coworker, whom I had a decent working (and casually friendly) relationship with has completely lost the plot and blown up their life by having (at least one?) affair. Their partner left them, they're having financial problems, and they've burnt professional bridges.

This is bringing up a lot of feelings and flashbacks to when my fWS was deep in his A. The same attempts at gaslighting, defensiveness, nonsensical arguments, and desperately clinging to the idea that they are the victim here.

I recognize this is not my problem, but still... I feel like my anxiety levels are up in general, just by osmosis. Minor things that would be no big deal have been getting my heart pounding, or making me break out into a sweat lately, and I'm having trouble sleeping at night.

Not looking for advice, exactly. Just feeling kind of sad (for them, their family, as well and me & my family for having to deal with the rippling trauma caused by an A) as well as anxious (because crazy people do crazy things and their behavior has been increasingly crazy) and looking for a place to vent.

"I will survive, hey, hey!"

posts: 2117   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2018
id 8825508
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Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 6:38 AM on Thursday, February 22nd, 2024

I can see why that bothers ya. Like a blatant reminder of all the shit you've gone through. Sucks you gotta watch the slow moving trainwreck.

BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer

posts: 13519   ·   registered: Aug. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Washington State
id 8825535
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:58 PM on Thursday, February 22nd, 2024

((Hugs))

Sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you're able to get your peace back soon.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8825567
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:24 PM on Thursday, February 22nd, 2024

I expect you're triggered, on the way off chance you haven't called it that yet. I'm out of the work force, but I don't want to even think about how I'd feel if a friend were in an A.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:25 PM, Thursday, February 22nd]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30462   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8825584
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 5:45 PM on Thursday, February 22nd, 2024

Just want to say I'm very sorry to read you are being subjected to this crazy. Vent away here and I hope it helps. You handled your own situation so well. Do your best to stay away from the triggering aspects. Everyone here gets it

Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3945   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8825603
Topic is Sleeping.
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