I’m in Therapy, and told her that I wanted to get the balls to leave my husband. So I’m actively trying to get out of my state of paralyzed with fear.
WH cheated on me and left me and the kids and let his new girlfriend harass us. It was real mess. in 2009 and 2010. She even continued to harass him and me after he left her.
Then there were some inappropriate text between a work friend, I don’t even really know how to categorize that. She is no longer a friend. He had a bipolar episode and yelled at her lost his job. She is also mentally unstable, but nowhere near as bad as OW number one or WH. She just has some self-esteem issues I’m guessing. I don’t really care. She just seems very immature, and I think that that was a draw for my husband because she’s not a strong woman. She’s very weak.
he has been faithful, I guess, for the last four years. Oh, give him a medal right? Lol After the last incident in 2019, with work friend, I just kind of realized I don’t want to be in this marriage anymore.
I think long-term and I don’t want to be married to him when I am old and sitting at home, and he’s home too. I don’t want him at home with me. There is a kicker, when he sort of got fired/resigned from his job with work friend, he started business for himself, and now he makes over twice as much as what he used to make. Add in there, My sisters are taking me to court because they want to put our mom in a nursing home and take over her finances/get control of all of her money. WH is an attorney, and I get free legal advice. He bitches and says I’ve given you $25000 worth of free legal advice this year. He’s not lying.
but I enjoy flying lessons, kayaking, hiking, learning new things, travel. I’ve always tried to get him to drive cross country with me. I ended up driving just me and my then nine-year-old son cross country. It was awesome. I’ve also flown to Spain with my kids alone without him, something, I didn’t think that I could handle as the only adult. But I did it.
I also realized that five years ago I turned 40. I asked him to take me out for a fancy dinner. I wanted to get dressed up. Go to someplace really cool. Take a lot of pictures. Just feel very fancy. I’m a stay at home mom, so I never get the chance to do that. He didnt do it until a year later and inwas pregnant (so i couldn’t wear a really fancy beautiful dress with high heels, and I didn’t really look or feel that hot. I just felt like a pregnant lady in August in the south.
This year I am asking for a parachute jump. Something he would never do, something that he probably won’t talk to me about, and something that I will probably end up paying for myself.
but it makes me realize, I used to want to do things with him. I just wanna go out to dinner. Try stuff with him. But I just don’t care anymore. I don’t care about trying things with him, we don’t have similar interest. It’s literally a we just grew apart situation. he’s been a lot of time on other ladies. And I spent time on the kids, and then on flying lessons and learning German over the Internet with teachers online. And traveling alone
sorry, but he seems kind of like a loser. And I’m cool. At least I think I am.