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Newest Member: FabMom

Divorce/Separation :
Just done

Topic is Sleeping.
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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 3:50 AM on Monday, August 14th, 2023

I am back posting here after attempting reconciliation with WH for many years. But it was never good again. Finally the last couple of fights made me realize I cannot continue in this relationship. The second last fight we had I told him that was it and we needed to separate and have been sleeping in separate areas since. He seemed to be trying to treat things as normal after the fight and I was beginning to waver. But today, just 2 weeks since that second last fight, I found texts he has been sending since at least then to a woman he works with and was trying to hook up with but she put him in the friend zone. They did go out on a date I think where this was determined by her.
So, here he is, still living in the house, acting like things could go back to the way they were while starting to look for another woman. And apparently has a dating profile(s) in that time.
I know I was the one to say that it was over, but I expected at least some respect to wait until we were no longer in the same home with a teenager before he would start moving on.
But I guess more the fool me.

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 8804346
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kiwilee ( member #10426) posted at 12:13 PM on Monday, August 14th, 2023

When you know, you know. Once you make that final decision to cut this "cancer" from your life, just keep moving forward. The more distance you create, the clearer things will become and strengthen your resolve.

There seems to be more of us in our 50’s (grey divorce) here on this board lately. You are not alone and you can do this.

posts: 663   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2006
id 8804352
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ANewPerson ( member #83728) posted at 12:41 PM on Monday, August 14th, 2023

I expected at least some respect to wait until we were no longer in the same home with a teenager before he would start moving on.

Expectations that our wayward spouses will better their behavior and practice "respect" for others is a trap I know I find myself falling into over and over. Quintessential Charlie Brown/Lucy football kicking practice for the wayward's, they keep pulling the ball and looking at us like we're the baddies. "Look what you made me do!" You're flat on your back, the waywards are staring down without a care in the world for our injuries. It's demoralizing, I want off the ride, how about you?

BH 54 Divorcing

posts: 55   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2023   ·   location: Heartland USA.
id 8804356
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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 4:03 PM on Monday, August 14th, 2023

Thank you...nice to hear from someone else that I am not being unreasonable. Gaslighting has really screwed me up. Thank you kiwilee for reminding me I am not alone.

And ANewPerson, The Charlie Brown/ Lucy football analogy is spot on! Why would I expect respect after how he has treated me both with an affair and after the affair.
I am sorry we are both on this ride that seems to just keep going and going. Hopefully when we pull the brakes and separate completely,we can move on with our lives.

PS. Sorry I forget how to quote in my replies. I will have to brush up on the ins and outs of the forums.

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 8804368
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 7:40 PM on Monday, August 14th, 2023

PS. Sorry I forget how to quote in my replies. I will have to brush up on the ins and outs of the forums.

When you're posting a reply, copy/paste the text, select it and click the " icon above the box.

Yeah, mine was messaging somebody & was getting ready to propose before I even moved out of the house. Of course, it was actually a scam artist getting money out of him. But he found another one within a few weeks - also before I moved out. (We did IHS for 5 months.)

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3904   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8804385
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 changedforlife (original poster member #38474) posted at 9:22 PM on Monday, August 14th, 2023

When you're posting a reply, copy/paste the text, select it and click the " icon above the box.

Perfect! Thank you leafields for the help. And wow...they really have no shame.

[This message edited by changedforlife at 9:23 PM, Monday, August 14th]

Me - BS Him - WH (in our 50's)Together 31 years/ 1 teenager1st D-day - Jan 24/13 #? d-days from broken no contact and continued infidelity for several years. Attempted reconciliation.July 28/23 told him it was over and he wa

posts: 172   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 8804398
Topic is Sleeping.
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