SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Oh, man, I'm pissed. And there is NOTHING I can do about this situation but vent here where I am anonymous for the most part, and it can't be linked to my son.

Our younger son is in Army basic training. This is my son who spent 4 years at a military college and endured everything that setting could throw at him. There was a classmate his knob year (freshman year) who on MULTIPLE occasions entered my kid's room, dropped trou and laid his junk on my kid's lap top.

Same classmate used to throw his entire body weight into the bathroom stall door when my kid was in there. He had upperclassmen who decided he didn't belong there and made it their "life mission" to make him quit. (Didn't work.)

He also had a classmate and friend die by suicide with another classmate attempting suicide days after the first one. The boy has been through some shit.

Now in BCT, he is one of the older SITs. (Soldiers in Training) He has tried to stay above the petty crap that happens. Has a few younger soldiers that he tries to look after and be an example. He was selected as bay boss and lost that after an inspection turned up some nasty underwear behind a cabinet and something even worse that I'm not even going to name. When he told us about that I felt like he was sabotaged.

Last week he was promoted to platoon leader. He's excelled in every exercise. Made Sharpshooter in marksmanship. Well, he called today and to REASSURE ME tells me at least he didn't get arrested. Of course I got spooled up about that. He said he wasn't ready to talk to me or his dad about all the details but the upshot was he was fired from the platoon leader position because someone filed a sexual harassment complaint.

Now I know the cliche mother who could never imagine her baby doing anything wrong. That ain't me. But I know my son and his character. He would not abuse or harass anyone, and certainly not any sort of sexual situation. He promised he'd fill us in next time we talk, so I was left imagining all the ways this could have played out.

His fiancee reached out to me after talking to him. (He always calls us, talks for 5-10 minutes and then spends the rest of his phone time with her). He did tell her everything. And WEEKS AGO, he got out of the shower and walked into the locker area with no clothes or a towel on. And apparently somebody was uncomfortable with that. To be clear, this was a men's locker/shower room and he walked from the shower to his belongings on a bench directly across. He wasn't waving his johnson around like a flag. He wasn't trying to sword fight with it. But it bothered some pathetic dickhole SOOOO much that they waited 3 whole weeks, until he was promoted to a leadership role, to bring the complaint.

WTF? These are purported grown ups who are supposed to go out and defend our country. And, "Damn, man! Put a towel on" is not in their vocabulary?

I feel so bad for Drill Sergeants having to referee shit like this.

But mostly I feel bad for my kid who is truly committed to doing the best he can and helping those around him succeed.

And because I will never have a chance to say this to his "accuser", I'm just gonna say this now. It's not my kid's fault that you did steroids or whatever and you're embarrassed by what you have. Don't piss on him with it.

(((HFSSC))) That is just awful.

Ugh. That is horrible. My dad was career army and loved it. But he got out at 30 years b/c of the politics.

Man, that sucks.

Granted, my understanding of the plebe system in military academies is heavily influenced by Pat Conroy novels, but I thought the whole point was to forge brotherhood. You suffered through hell together to prove yourselves worthy, and after that, you were supposed to have each other's backs.

It's bad enough that soldiers are subjected to unavoidable trauma without manufacturing more of it and then sabotaging each other anyway.

BSR, funny you should mention Conroy. That's the school my son attended.

And yeah, the plebe system is designed to break down individuals and build a brotherhood. What I didn't say in my earlier post is that one of the guys who was determined to make him quit was also the first upperclassman to shake his hand on Recognition Day.

And he is a Leader now. He is the one looking out for the less experienced, less developed, less mature SITs. He got in the middle of a fight between 2 of his buddies and one of them tried to spit at the other and caught my son full face. He kept his cool, broke up the fight and then went to the DI and stood up for both of them. He's not out there trying to drag anybody down because he understands the ultimate goal.

And this could have truly destroyed his career before it even started. He could have been arrested and faced UCMJ action.

Okay. I am gonna go watch stupid videos to make me laugh so I can get past being so pissed off for a little while. Thanks for letting me get this out of my system.

WOW, just WOW.
Is there no hope for humanity?

Seriously these are grown men that have volunteered, and they pull this silliness? How frustrating.

I’m so sorry for all this stupid shit when a man is trying to serve his country.

Honestly, I’m stuck on the comment about someone walking into your son’s room and laying his "junk" on his computer.

WHO DOES THIS????????????????

What's Right...

Yeah. That phone call was something that NOTHING in all my years of parenting him and his brother prepared me for at all. I just sat there trying to think of something to say that would be helpful and supportive and all I could think was WTAF????

I actually had to call one of my "Mentor Moms" and apologize in advance for the subject matter because I was so completely out of my depth. That guy ended up not making it through their first year.

There was also the "Flusher Crusher" incident his 2nd year. Someone kept destroying toilets in his battalion. 3 separate times. And I mean, DESTROYED them literally. Broke them off the wall. His entire battalion (approximately 400 cadets) had to wear full dress (wool) uniform from 0600 to 2200 hours, stand in hourly formations and also perform "tours". (Marching in formation around the quad holding their rifle straight out for 50 minutes) any time they were not in class. For 3 straight days in May. In SOUTH CAROLINA. Finally found out it was a senior who had already completed classes and was off campus by then.

Yeah, Conroy never wrote about that shit, lol.

Anyway, I talked to his recruiter and the NCO in charge of his Guard unit. And the general consensus is that somebody was jealous and instead of working on themselves, they decided to bring my son down. The DIs will see the truth. Also, the guys I've talked to, including my brother and my SIL's brother who is a recruiter as well, all have the same opinion, which is that this is complete BS but that in "today's army" they are required to act immediately on any complaint, no matter how stupid.

I was also able to talk to a chaplain who is going to reach out to the company chaplain, who my son has a good relationship with, and he is going to check in on him. I can't wait to talk to him on Sunday. He has 3 weeks to go till graduation.

I am happy to see that you are able to get a week in between to vent and get this OUT of your system before you talk to your son (((HUGS))). Thank God he doesn't have much time left before he can get out of that MESS!!!

I will keep y'all in my prayers...but it sure is a BLESSING to know there are some pretty cool young people like your son who has shown so much STRENGTH and MATURITY. That tells a lot about his character. Well done Mama!!!