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Newest Member: chickenchicken

Divorce/Separation :
"I can't believe she left me"

Topic is Sleeping.
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 freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 4:55 PM on Sunday, August 29th, 2021

A friend told me this story.

Her ex was a serial cheater. She got to where she was done. They had to do in-house separation for 6 months, during which time he decided to get a new girlfriend because after all, the marriage was officially "done" so it was no longer cheating, right?

The day came where she got her own place and moved out. He sat with his girlfriend and watched her carry all her things out the door. After the final box was out and she had driven away, he sat on the couch, put his head in his hands, and cried TO HIS GIRLFRIEND, "I can't believe she did it. I can't believe she really left me."

The girlfriend told her this story much later, after the GF had broken up with him and reached out to her to compare war stories lol.

So. On to me.

My ex has treated me like a BFF since he moved out 4 years ago. He constantly wants to share details of his life with me which at first I welcomed as hopium that he'd come back, and tiny scraps of affection, bread crumbs I was willing to sacrifice my dignity to glom on to.

I served him divorce papers about 2 weeks ago. These were not a surprise, he knew they were coming and we've had open communication about the disposition of everything that wasn't addressed in the original separation agreement.

He's been extremely cold. One and two word replies. Very unlike him.

My friend told me it's because he left me 4 years ago, but I didn't leave him. I stayed with him, even though he wasn't with me. I was on the back burner, I was plan B, I was still available in case he changed his mind.

But now, that's all changed. Even though I haven't been truly available to him for a very long time, in his mind, I still was. Now, I've left him so he's pouting and butt hurt.

Cheaters are so wild, the crazy way they think and process.

posts: 1772   路   registered: Mar. 13th, 2017
id 8686105
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Walkthestorm ( member #72157) posted at 6:24 PM on Sunday, August 29th, 2021

I read some of your posts and must say you are a badass 馃檪. Breaking codependancy is no easy tadk and you did it and you are thriving!! Good for you!!

Your poor STBEXH realises he is not all that special after all. Don't faint interest in his life cause you know... He is really not that interesting.

Keep moving forward living your best life. Once the divorce is finalized block him for good.

posts: 122   路   registered: Nov. 26th, 2019
id 8686115
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 freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 1:09 AM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

It's amazing and scary. But amazing. But scary. But amazing. LOL.

posts: 1772   路   registered: Mar. 13th, 2017
id 8686162
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:25 AM on Monday, August 30th, 2021

You are indeed a badass!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6192   路   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   路   location: Northern CA
id 8686163
Topic is Sleeping.
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