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Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

Divorce/Separation :
Daughter knows more than she is telling me.

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Notagain1 (original poster new member #78464) posted at 10:58 PM on Friday, July 2nd, 2021

Just found out my daughter has still been lying about WH and his women. She even went to a concert with and told me she was a friend 8f hers, paid for with our joint account. I can't handle this betrayal too!!

posts: 40   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2021
id 8672073
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 11:35 PM on Friday, July 2nd, 2021

I'm so sorry you are hurting. How old is your daughter? Okay, I just read your profile. She's 30.

Where do things stand with your husband? It sounds like he has exited the marriage. I'm so so sorry. I can't imagine how painful this must be for you.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 5:36 PM, July 2nd (Friday)]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8672080
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 6:44 AM on Saturday, July 3rd, 2021

If either of my kids had been party to anything my WW had done then they would get disowned.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8672124
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feelingthenoose ( member #35328) posted at 9:53 PM on Sunday, July 4th, 2021

Ask her if she would go to a family therapy with you bc it feels like your divorce has hurt your mother-daughter relationship. This sounds like a really messy affair situation, so I wouldn't be surprised if she's unsure of what to do, even if she's 30.

Good luck, mama.

posts: 881   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2012
id 8672379
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 3:48 AM on Monday, July 5th, 2021

Maybe you need to do a soft 180 and lessen the impacts of her lying ways,

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4480   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8672437
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Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 4:46 PM on Monday, July 5th, 2021

Being biologically connected does not give someone a get out of jail card. There are still expectations of behaviour and lying is one of them. You dont have the right to control her as she is an adult, but she should not lie to you. She could simply tell you that you are overstepping.

I get the need to be the better parent in your kids eyes, trying to win allies. I did it as well. But I've come to realize that I do not need people on team JSG to validate my position. Having allies does not make me even more right.

My STBXWW has a boyfriend who stays at her place often and is now a part of my kids lives. He is quirky, but a good man, giving and reliable. Hell, I would probably go for beers with him if the circumstances were different. I actually feel badly for him as my STBXWW is nothing short of an emotional vampire, but he is a big boy and can figure that out for himself.

The point is, her life and her relationship with the kids does not make mine better or worse. It just is. I heal me. I work on my relationships. It not a zero sum game.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1865   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8672528
Topic is Sleeping.
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