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Newest Member: FabMom

New Beginnings :
The closest I will ever have to an apology

Topic is Sleeping.
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 HappyTree (original poster member #56916) posted at 5:27 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2020

So, I was on the phone with my narcissistic ex last week and he said to me "you are just mad about what happened 4 years ago." Now being on this board has taught me that when a narcissist puts you down, its how they feel about themselves. So by my ex saying that I'm just mad about 4 years ago, what he means is that he is mad about 4 years ago. He is learning that he mad a very bad choice.

My reaction was to start laughing at him. Like, I couldn't help myself but laugh. I'm now with a man who treats me well. He has his PhD, was a college professor at an ivy league before being a stay at home dad for a year. I've done so many things that my ex would never allowed me to do (traveled solo, fixed a vintage camper, gone to a crap ton of music festivals, learned how to fire hula hoop, tattoos, piercings). Yes, that situation sucked, but my life is drastically better now! And my ex still regrets his actions.

Like I said, this is the closest my ex will ever be to actually apologizing for what he did. Yet he doesn't even realize what he actually said to me! Life is so much more better now that I know how to interpret his words!

Married 11 years
D-Day in October 2016
2 kids- 10 and 8

posts: 400   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017   ·   location: Caribou, ME
id 8576566
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 6:25 PM on Thursday, August 20th, 2020

It's crazy how consistently they project like that! I'm glad you are so much happier now!

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 8576592
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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 12:31 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2020

So true. So crazy. Can you believe we put up with that for so many years? so happy your life is so much better now and you won't fall for his B.S.!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 8576734
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:24 AM on Friday, August 21st, 2020

Love this!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6215   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8576792
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 3:01 PM on Friday, August 21st, 2020

Interesting. Earlier this year I had to text my ex narc about financial payments she didn't make or was late on. She erupted about how it's been 3 years (it was really 2 years but her affair started 3 years ago but the affair never happened) and how I'm mad still and hold onto hatred and anger. Just a reflection of herself projecting onto me. They're like a brand new shiny car with no engine inside, useless and hollow.

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8576948
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LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 9:10 AM on Wednesday, August 26th, 2020

They're like a brand new shiny car with no engine inside, useless and hollow.

the Narc never fails to be predictable. My STBX fought me for custody of the Porsche so I offered him the car and my own, both which I paid for but he doesn’t Want them any more. He now wants a new model.

September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼

posts: 953   ·   registered: Apr. 29th, 2020   ·   location: Australia
id 8579172
Topic is Sleeping.
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