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The Book Club :
Books for WS

Topic is Sleeping.
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 ICanOvercome (original poster member #48625) posted at 12:13 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

Odd question but does anyone know about books for helping a WS work through their issues? My STBXW is almost done with her free therapy sessions and since we are splitting up, won't have enough money to continue to pay out of pocket.

Are there any books out there written to help a WS heal? Even though I don't want her to be my wife anymore, I do want her to be a whole and healthy person. My children deserve that.

Me: BH (37)
Her: WW (35)
Married 10 years (2004), together since 1998.
Two daughters, ages 5 and 2.
Divorced 11/20/15 - living and LOVING life!

posts: 543   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2015   ·   location: St. Louis, MO
id 7311983
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eric1 ( member #47762) posted at 12:48 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

Funny, i was just reading my usual (mostly sports-related) sites and a few books were mentioned in this article

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/tom-bradys-ex-deserves-praise-for-her-gracious-109904497072.html

posts: 1040   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2015
id 7312006
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eric1 ( member #47762) posted at 12:50 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

Another similar article

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/emails-between-tom-brady-and-ex-expose-how-they-126106801202.html

posts: 1040   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2015
id 7312008
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onlytime ( member #45817) posted at 1:10 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

Ideally she should be looking for books herself, but I get where you are coming from in wanting to help her for your kids sake.

What are the issues that you feel she is struggling with? Knowing that will help with book recommendations.

Has she read any books so far?

If she is struggling with self-worth and shame issues I highly recommend she get a hold of all of Brene Brown's books:

I Thought it was Just Me

Gifts of Imperfection

Daring Greatly

If she struggles with co-dependency at all I recommend:

Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

There are also a couple of books by Pema Chodron that deal with anger and fear. They come from a Buddhist perspective and are best in audiobook format, IMO:

Don't Bite the Hook (anger)

The Places that Scare You (fear)

There are also a number of books that are recommended in this post on the Wayward forum:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=318321

Hope this helps.

R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela

posts: 6298   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: 🇨🇦
id 7312024
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 ICanOvercome (original poster member #48625) posted at 1:16 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

I think that's a pretty good list. She's been reading the usual: Just Friends, How to help your spouse..., now she has a book on how to help your children deal with divorce.

She needs something else to help herself be a better person. She knows something is broken inside.

She says that she is ashamed, scared, depressed, etc.

I'll give her this list. She can start working through this.

Me: BH (37)
Her: WW (35)
Married 10 years (2004), together since 1998.
Two daughters, ages 5 and 2.
Divorced 11/20/15 - living and LOVING life!

posts: 543   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2015   ·   location: St. Louis, MO
id 7312031
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onlytime ( member #45817) posted at 1:24 PM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

Glad you found the list helpful.

Brene Brown is honestly the best, IMO, for dealing with shame.

Now that you mentioned depression, I just remembered a workbook that I am planning on getting, that came highly recommended by IC:

Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David D. Burns, M.D

I was able to flip through it in the IC's office and it was filled with activities that are designed to address depression and self-esteem.

R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela

posts: 6298   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: 🇨🇦
id 7312038
Topic is Sleeping.
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